then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
