I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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