Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Hey man sorry I got all grabby

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  (972): Hey man sorry I got all grabby http://tfl.nu/1c4w
  Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw his package. It spoke to me.

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  (732): I saw his package. It spoke to me. http://tfl.nu/ses1
  Replies (11) Good night (3356) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.

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  (417): He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets. (417): He's like the Bob Ross of love stains. http://tfl.nu/ts5r
  Replies (14) Good night (3576) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I'M GETTING MARRIED!

  (512): View more from Texas

  YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!

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  (254): I'M GETTING MARRIED! (512): YOU'RE STILL MARRIED! http://tfl.nu/48vu
  Replies (38) Good night (4467) Bad night (2322)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...

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  (540): I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant... http://tfl.nu/4jrj
  Replies (17) Good night (4006) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.

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  (626): that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/stra
  Replies (21) Good night (744) Bad night (5095)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.

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  (256): My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred. http://tfl.nu/j0t5
  Replies (18) Good night (3933) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.

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  (415): Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only. http://tfl.nu/ffub
  Replies (7) Good night (4839) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.

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  (304): He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight. http://tfl.nu/5vdu
  Replies (60) Good night (15170) Bad night (2134)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.

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  (850): I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before. http://tfl.nu/vbyg
  Replies (16) Good night (5226) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.

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  (778): She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done. http://tfl.nu/3wcc
  Replies (8) Good night (3603) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?

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  (780): Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high? http://tfl.nu/wnjj
  Replies (4) Good night (2503) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.

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  (479): Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie. http://tfl.nu/n54r
  Replies (7) Good night (802) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.

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  (850): Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one. http://tfl.nu/2j08
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (189)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?

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  (612): Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe? http://tfl.nu/94og
  Replies (2) Good night (256) Bad night (338)

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