Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.

(231): View more from Michigan

better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?

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(585): View more from New York

I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?

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(217): View more from Illinois

I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...

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(218): View more from Minnesota

No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.

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(408): View more from California

Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.

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