Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?