I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.