Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Update, blind date is cute and fun.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Scratch that, blind date just threw up.

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  (248): Update, blind date is cute and fun. (248): Scratch that, blind date just threw up. http://tfl.nu/ooba
  Replies (10) Good night (630) Bad night (3958)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"

  (954): View more from Florida

  Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.

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  (954): He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?" (954): Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall. http://tfl.nu/238l
  Replies (15) Good night (718) Bad night (2858)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?

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  (802): and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina? http://tfl.nu/mzx1
  Replies (47) Good night (670) Bad night (6113)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

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  (913): He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me. http://tfl.nu/hd8j
  Replies (36) Good night (770) Bad night (4250)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.

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  (303): you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson. http://tfl.nu/oqx8
  Replies (10) Good night (3248) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college

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  (732): been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college http://tfl.nu/n77e
  Replies (11) Good night (1088) Bad night (3907)
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  (408): View more from California

  It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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  (408): It's chlamydia! Thank God! http://tfl.nu/1hqj
  Replies (25) Good night (1563) Bad night (8378)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart

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  (815): Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart http://tfl.nu/4qqp
  Replies (19) Good night (7821) Bad night (1668)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.

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  (508): Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day. http://tfl.nu/pq24
  Replies (12) Good night (7370) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.

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  (225): My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight. http://tfl.nu/a1x3
  Replies (11) Good night (2770) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.

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  (661): There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind. http://tfl.nu/kx07
  Replies (9) Good night (1730) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy

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  (859): You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy http://tfl.nu/yf7q
  Replies (2) Good night (2001) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.

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  (704): And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control. http://tfl.nu/cnqj
  Replies (18) Good night (2305) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.

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  (925): She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking. http://tfl.nu/98oz
  Replies (4) Good night (287) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.

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  (613): I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season. http://tfl.nu/8rh9
  Replies (4) Good night (659) Bad night (287)

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