I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize