someone get that fucking seahorse.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!