Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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