So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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