$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
