Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
