come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
