For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
