My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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