he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
