Swine flu. Run for my life!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
