U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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