if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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