hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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