I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
