I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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