So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
