Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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