i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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