Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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