weddingsv make me drug and hornr
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
