either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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