even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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