these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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