walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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