Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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