I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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