It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
