vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Watching her eat just hurts me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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