I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
