i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
