she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
