I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
