I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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