But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize