I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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