Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
