I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
