He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
