Sponge bath it is.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
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I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
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I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride