Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary