I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
