i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
