he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
