Whod you bang
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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