at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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