Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
