More tranny stories later!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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