i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
