Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
