is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
