Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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