I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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