K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
thus making me awesome and them whores
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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