GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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