Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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