so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
