CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
