Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize