My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
